Winding down after what feels like *weeks* of “startup week” is a strange process. I’m physical, socially, intellectually exhausted but also insanely lit with momentum. New connections, broader scope, bigger opportunities, all sources of energy for this ambivert. I want to talk about it all, but for the sake of time, I want to memorialize my takeaways.

They’re framed as “lessons learned” at various stages of the (conference) process.

Before the event — days, weeks, or months (use them)

Come with a goal (and a plan).

More than just knowing “why you’re here” and “what you’ll do” but also:

• What to learn — Check the agenda, research the presenters, plan your key takeaways ahead of time.

• Who to meet — Research whoever is going but also think about the aspects of people you don’t yet know; are they in a certain industry, experienced or credentialed in a relevant subject, part of an organization or community you’re targeting? A hit list, of sorts.

• How to engage — Know thyself, and if you’re not a cold open social butterfly, create an approach that works for you.

Know your conversation starters — and make them memorable.

This is my “new friends” jacket that I wear to networking and social events (as appropriate). My best friend and I made it and the fabric choice made me so incredibly happy, I’m convinced that happy magic was sewn into the final garment. Kind folks comment on it and it’s the easiest introduction for all involved.

I find it helpful to have conversation starters or go-to icebreakers in my back pocket, even something as simple as commenting on a person’s clothing, inviting a stranger in on something you’re seeing (grocery line conversation), or commented on a shared experience like the “charcuterie” display of salami and sweaty cheese.

Prepare to share (your contact information).

Folks surprised me with the variety of options for keeping in touch. I’m a simple gal: Either text myself your email address or connect on LinkedIn. But other people had QR codes with Contact Cards (iOS), landing page-style “business cards” that pull up that person’s entire internet footprint on one page, and a couple folks had postcard-sized cards that gave not just their information but a micro-itch for their business(s) as well.

I keep it simple in connecting with folks because I don’t make deep connections on the first go. For me, if someone (or myself) is willing to go the extra step after we’ve met to follow-up, confirm the contact, or click through whatever profile we shared — that person probably has time and attention enough for a new connection.

Too many people were bouncing around like flies, searching for the one thing they came for (founders or funders were in high demand) and that’s cool, that just wasn’t my MO. Keeping my intent and goals in mind while knowing what kind of people I’m looking to meet kept me from over saturating myself socially.

Bonus: Spruce up your virtual real estate

How’s your LinkedIn profile looking? Do you have updated profile photos, website landing page links, and social media posts? If you know where you’re going to connect (or where you’re going to send new contacts), be sure to welcome them into a maintained, authentic space that represents you.

During —

Pack your conference bag like you’re going to a theme park.

You’re likely not going to want to go back home, to your hotel room, or out to buy something you forgot during a back-to-back conference schedule. But, you also don’t want to get a headache, stomachache, or single use plastic water bottle while you’re trying to enjoy the event. Consider what would keep you comfortable, what could happen (period starts, forget to take your prescription before leaving, low blood sugar), and what you’ll need to make the most of the day.

What I recommend based on experience:

• Reusables: Coffee mug or iced coffee cup, water bottle, handkerchief/napkin, etc.

• Your favorite snacks and/or protein bars — open-air tables of sweaty cheese and wilted fruit leaves everyone hungry.

• Tote bag or briefcase for carrying the swag and business cards you inevitably accumulate.

• Pen and paper, ideally in a notebook you can write into while sitting without a surface (hard cover).

• Flair to decorate your name tag or lanyard — another fun lil conversation starter.

  • Or a pin to replace your lanyard — I get neck aches just from lanyards so I’ve started to pin my event badge instead.

• “First aid kit” including a tide pen or shout wipes, hand sanitizer, safety pins, Sharpie, deodorant/perfume, and care for common ailments like blisters, pain & discomfort, or hair malfunctions.

• Phone charger with a battery brick, to keep you from being stuck to a wall charger.

Sync up w/ your local contacts (and join their networks, too).

Whether or not you think you need a wing(person), it always helps to have a posse. If you’re going alone, check local Facebook groups to see if anyone from your town or community is driving/flying in. Reach out to friends who might’ve gone but didn’t — do they know anyone?

And if you do have friendlies, start your days off with them but don’t get stuck! It’s too easy to become an insular clique that laughs at each other’s jokes and fails to meet new people. Share connections and intentions with your posse (old and new) and continue to widen your network to the tune of your reach.

Pick your parties (don’t smash ‘em all).

Confession from a social drinker: Pick your parties wisely. Though I don’t drink at home, you put drink tickets in my hand and suddenly, I’m a gin & tonic connoisseur who thinks she’s still 22. Same goes for marijuana (depending on the location of the conference), cigars, and rich food. You know your limits, and if you don’t, write them in Sharpie on your hand so you don’t forget. Because there’s nothing worse than stumbling late into day 2 with a hangover so bad you can’t stand the stage lights.

Plus, when you target specific parties and gatherings — getting into VIP parties isn’t impossible, depending on who you know — you can position yourself to meet specific individuals on more informal turf.

Bonus: Say no to free stuff you don’t want.

Some people might think this is rude but I disagree big time. If you don’t need another tote bag, event tee shirt, branded notepad, or freebie book, politely decline. I can’t tell you how many people I saw awkwardly carrying so much stuff around while trying to shake hands and engage with others… if you don’t want it, don’t take it.

After —

Translate your notes into a recap narrative.

Even if you don’t have a blog, a short LinkedIn or Facebook post would suffice! You could summarize in a journal or in a voice note, too. You don’t have to reread it or plan to use the information in the future. It’s the repetition and reacquaintance with the finer points that will commit the important parts of the experience to memory.

Send ‘productive’ follow-ups with value and an ask.

You’ve made new friends — excellent! Do you remember why you connected with that person? Do you have an idea of how you could both benefit each other? Professional connections, like any relationship, require work to get going and maintain momentum. But they also wither with mistreatment.

I like to use an informal “relationship management system” that organizes my active connections (the ones I’m actively maintaining a relationship with) alongside commitments or promises I’ve made — like taking a meeting or sharing a resource, and the date of the next time I’m going to connect with them. If you don’t hear back, wait a couple weeks to follow up.

Tip for following up on a possible ghost: A short & sweet “this link reminded me of that thing we talked about…” with a genuinely interesting resource could be the low key olive branch needed to reignite that connection.

Or, just let it go. No matter how well-connected or enthusiastic they seem, if they’re not around, that’s the end of it.

Reflect on the value compared to the price.

Full disclosure: I went to 3686 on a free ticket. A friend of mine received one for competing in a pitch competition, but on just 3 business days notice, she couldn’t exactly take time off from her full-time government job to go to an out-of-town conference.

But, when I think about what this would’ve cost: $449 (I think, unable to verify at this point) because I leveraged the extra networking add-on, my conclusion is that 3686 wouldn’t be worth it to me at full-price.

Granted, I met two potential clients / startups I could consult in their early equity stages. That could have financial value in the future, but almost $500 + lodging (which was also free in this case) would’ve been better spent on an event that was more in-line with what I’m progressing in my professional sphere.

3636 is a fantastic event for Founders (of startups, especially high growth / big tech) and Funders (angel investors, VCs, etc) to get face-to-face and secure potentially valuable partnerships.

Next year, if I have a startup ready to network (and pitch), I’ll be sure to come prepared with:

• Constructed escalator pitch (1 - 2 sentences), elevator pitch (60 sec or less), and full pitch deck.

• Financial figures and intentions.

• Target connections and “types” of connections I’m looking for (what do they do, where do they work, who do they know, how can I benefit them, etc).

• Something demo-able and preferably exciting/interactive, as folks are getting pitched all day and night — they’ll need a little something extra to really remember me.

• More convenient way of sharing contact information, like a QR code or digital contact card.

Bonus: If you didn’t get what you wanted, go find it!

Keep searching for what you need! If it’s people, information, accountability, community… don’t stop at this conference. Review what you learned and who you met and see how much further you can take your pursuit.

Second bonus: Reach out to the event organizers to find out where you can download event media (pictures of yourself)!

This is a long shot for some events but you never know — event photographers and videographers might love to share their gallery with you so you can link them in your blog post or LinkedIn follow-up article. Plus, professional images out in the real world are hard to come by, so collect them even if you have no use for them now. You never know what the future holds!